January 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm (Personal Thoughts)

I am blogging from the hospital today.  My grandma has been ill and will soon pass.  While this is of course a very sad time for me, I am at peace with what is happening.  Last evening, Grandma was able to talk to our close family members (which really consist of only three people: her two daughters and then me). I am an only child, and an only grandchild. So needless to say, my grandma and I have always been very close (read, she spoiled me senseless).  Though my mother, father, step-father, and aunt have had their doubts about my education, Grandma is the one person who always “got it.” My Grandpa died a year before I was born. So she has spent the last three decades as an independent woman. She never remarried (which was her deliberate, conscious choice). Grandma also comes from a different time. Growing up in the Great Depression left her very frugal about finances but also very worried about her two daughters’ (my aunt and mother) financial well being.  Both my aunt and mother have always been financially dependent on the men in their lives.  My mother had her first husband and then a wonderful second husband.  My aunt, however, lost her fiance just months before their wedding. My aunt never recovered (emotionally) and has lived with my Grandmother for the last 25 years.  I, on the other hand am bossy, bull-headed, and independent.  Anyway, the reason I am sharing this on my blog is not to solicit sympathy but to share with you the greatest form of validation I could have ever received. It was also the greatest gift my Grandmother could have ever given me.  Last night, my Grandmother drifted between both ‘worlds.’ One minute she would be carrying on a conversation with her late husband and the next she would be speaking to my aunt, mother, and I.  At one point she held my hand, struggled to get close to me and said, “finish school, be a lawyer.” Both my aunt and mother heard my Grandma’s directive and my aunt said to me,  “Well, you heard the woman.”

Thank you Grandma for always understanding and believing in me.  You will always be with me and I will always think of you.  I know that when I graduate from college in May that you will be looking down on me with pride.  You will be proud when I begin law school in the fall.  And Grandma, I want you to know that you played a great part in raising me to believe in myself. I am the woman I am today because of you, Grandma.


1 Comment

  1. Practical Paralegalism said,

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother, but am glad you shared her influence on your life with your readers. Both of my grandmothers were responsible for some of the best parts of my childhood, and I treasure everything I have from them, from handmade afghans to family recipes to memories.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: